Chasing Cars

SUCH A LATE POST! Forgot to post this from my phone!
0058H April 10, 2012

Chasing Cars - Damn this song; it never fails to hit the bullseye every single time. I remembered how difficult, or erase that, how impossible it was for me to hear the mere tune of the song before. And now, six years after, hearing the song while finding myself staring at such a beautiful night sky instantly brought tears to my eyes.

I know I was the first one who stopped believing in us, the first one who doubted our plans and future together. But eventually, you were the brave one who did what I couldn't - you pulled away. And that crushed me. Struck every fiber of my being with pain so intense, it almost devoid the life out of me. It made me want to pull away too, and this time, not just from you.

In my twenty five years, our breakup was probably the saddest point of my existence, and learning how to get back from losing you entirely, the hardest period of my life.

We had our closure two years after we parted, and stayed in touch even after. Yet year after year, I find you, and us, slipping away; making unfamiliar strangers out of us. I know that's really the way it is, just thought we were different because what we had was special and a first for us. Wishful thinking much.

I have been over you for the longest time already, forgave you for dragging me to your self-imposed darkness and even allowed myself to let you in again after. So I'm not writing this because I'm longing for you. I guess I'm doing so out of disappointment, because I thought we were better than this.