Kiss my ass 2013 \m/

2013, by far, had been the most difficult year of my life. During the whole of last year I found myself hanging on to survive through sudden unemployment, promises made in bad faith, a-hole bosses, major career changes, incessant financial woes, law school setbacks and intense self doubt & low morale.. This year I fought like I never did my whole life, but failed and that broke me. It was also thi...s year that I realized how much I lost myself in circumstances and relationships that I didn’t know who I was when all hell broke loose.

But I’m grateful for all that shit that happened, because it was in 2013 when I found myself again - why I’m doing what I’m doing, what makes me happy, what I’m really passionate about, what I want in life, who are the people that will really stick around, who I can run to and rely on and who are those who truly matters. Blessings, answered prayers, affirmation, wisdom and strength came when most needed. If there’s one thing I’m most thankful for in 2013, it would be God bringing the machobaby Bughaw to our lives. MORE pamangkins please!

Thank God my December became EPIC: (despite being unproductive) I loved that I get to play ball again, loved the chance to reconnect with old friends and meet new ones, the get-togethers& walang kamatayang gimiks, the bonding, the amazing family time. Thank you to my family, my life-savers, my closest friends and barkadas, for keeping me sane! You know who you are.

I thought I had life all figured out, 2013 taught me that I still have a long way to go. So thanks for breaking and humbling me 2013, thanks for making me damn stronger. Thanks for making me feel alive. \m/

Let’s have a rocking 2014! I’m excited for how awesome it will be!

 

 

Oh I don't even have the will for that

Have you ever had that time, when you feel so down and sad, and all weighed down, but you have no idea why exactly? I'm having that feeling today; been having that feeling for some time really. It doesn't make sense up in your head, because things are going well (or at least they seem to be); you've been blessed and was given something you've been praying for for the longest time; you're surrounded by awesome friends who you became closer with and are genuinely fun to be with; law school is, well excruciatingly challenging as always, but at least you still have that to motivate you.

Then why the fuck am I feeling this way?

Maybe I'm missing someone.. or maybe I'm missing several someones (HAHA).. maybe this god-forsaken typhoon really affected me.. maybe negativity reflected by A LOT of people, evidenced by their posts irate me too much.. or maybe I'm just making an excuse to be melodramatic.. or maybe I'm just not as happy with myself as I should be. People say being happy is a choice. But sometimes circumstances won't even let you have that choice. 

You know what sucks more? I'm sure I won't even know the answer to this question. This feeling, its one of those that'll wear you down, go away, and then come back. It'll recur. 

Perspective, perspective. Oh I don't even have the will for that.

Ditto

"Unfortunately, although I had a lot of outward self-identity, I didn't have the inner kind, I hadn't built that up," she explains. "My self-worth was in someone else's hands, which is never a good idea, because it can be taken from you at any time. And it was, and it was shattered." - Katy Perry on Russel Brand

Ditto Katy. As pathetic as admitting that sounds. It will break you down and destroy. Reminds me of the lyrics of a song 

"Wake me up when its all over, 
when I'm wiser and I'm older, 
all this time I was finding myself, 
I didn't know I was lost."
- Wake Me Up by Avicii

 Thank God we get up and learn from these things. But that doesn't mean we won't let ourselves end up in that situation back again, because we will. Just in a less stupid way this time. Perhaps that's good enough by then. Perhaps that will work.

Some kind of heartache, Darlin give it a try

"Could you cry a little

Lie just a little

Pretend that your're feeling a little more pain.." 

"Give it up baby 

I hear you're doin' fine

Nothins goin save me

I can see it it your eyes

Some kind of heartache

Darlin give it a try

I dont want pity

I just want what is mine" 

- Cry by Faith Hill 

I love the lyrics! It's selfish yes, but it's just being real. I bet, we all wanted this at some point. 

SEGUE: The above was a random thought as I was watching the Voice.

Watch Cassadee Pope's (The Voice Season 4 winner) rendition of this song: 

Oh I so love this show. Still waiting for Cassadee Pope to rock the world! I love her renditions of country songs like "Over You"(below) which started her unstoppable #1 Hits in iTunes but I miss her pop-rock hits! That started me as a fan anyway.

Here's my favorite (since I'm such an Avril Lavigne fan) - "I'm With You" originally by Avril. 

My 2013 Movie List

There's a lot of films to look forward to this year! Among my top picks from the yahoo article are the awesome movies below:

1. Iron Man 3 (May 1) - DONE! But it's so good I'll watch it again! 

Note: Shame on all of us girls! If Gwyneth can have those abs at 40!

2. Fast & Furious 6 (May 24) - Because Fast 5 was so good and my super-badass-woman Michelle Rodriguez is back. 

3. Monsters University (June 21)

4. Before Midnight (May 24) - THEY HAVE KIDS! Ooooooooh

5. The Wolverine (July 26) - I'm an X-men fan so this is a must-see.

6. The Great Gatsby (May 10)  - If it's a Leo movie, it's worth watching.

7. Despicable Me 2 (July 3) - MINIONS!

8. Man of Steel (June 14) -  It's Chris Nolan's work so it has to be good.

9. The Hangover Part III (May 24) - I hope this redeems the series.

10. Kick-Ass 2 (August 16) - HIT GIRL IS BAAAACCKKK!!! \m/

11. White House Down (June 28) - Uh Channing Tatum- Need I say more?

12. This Is the End (June 12) - Just because Emma Watson's here. :D

13. The Lone Ranger (July 3) - I watched the trailer and it seems fun to watch! Johnny Depp is so good with being eccentric!

14. World War Z (June 21) - You gotta love zombie shows after The Walking Dead.

15. Star Trek Into Darkness (May 15)

16. After Earth (May 31) - Let's see if young Smith can act.

OBVIOUS ONE MISSING IN THE ARTICLE: 

Where in the world is Catching Fire? It won the award for the most anticipated movie of 2013! It definitely tops my list of must-see movies of 2013. Hey this is THE BEST book in the series and Jennifer Lawrence is now a seasoned actress so this will be amazing!

PS: I'm curious with You're Next but I doubt I'll ever have the guts to watch it. The description in the yahoo article was too scary.

"There are quite a few horror movies aiming to provide chills as an antidote to the summer heat. But the one that just might be the scariest is this low-budget thriller that was the hit of last fall's Toronto Film Festival. A family reunion gets overtaken by a group of masked, ax-wielding home invaders. But that's just the beginning of the terror. Look for this to be a breakout hit late in the season."

Source: http://sg.movies.yahoo.com/blogs/movie-talk/25-most-anticipated-movies-summer-2013-165010353.html

Random random random

Having such an awesome morning after a night of dealing of with adorable bipolarity (not mine haha). Listening to Monster Radio's 90s beats and I instantly found myself smiling and relaxing to the tunes of songs I loved growing up.

On a side note, why in the world can't I get myself to start writing this paper. #Writer'sBlock.

IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE: 2012 Bar Results just came out! No Bedan in the Top10 and an unofficial 71.23% passing rate this year! :( That's a far cry from the 96.55% passing rate last year. :( Goodness, I forebode the wrath on us this coming year. QPI and expectations wise and all. It'll be a much tougher year, hope we survive.

Rushing Back In

It's been years but it feels like it really was just like yesterday. It's amazing how it just comes out so naturally.